Growing Older

[CarlS]

I THOUGHT OF US ….

I have everything that I wanted as a teenager, only 60 years later. I don't have to go to school or work. I get an allowance every month. I have my own pad. I don't have a curfew. I have a driver's license and my own car. The people I hang around with are not scared of getting pregnant and I don't have acne. Life is great. I changed my car horn to gunshot sounds. People get out of the way much faster now.

Gone are the days when girls used to cook like their mothers. Now they drink like their fathers.

I didn't make it to the gym today. That makes five years in a row. I decided to stop calling the bathroom "John" and renamed it the "Jim". I feel so much better saying I went to the Jim this morning.

Old age is coming at a really bad time.

When I was a child I thought "nap time" was a punishment. Now it feels like a small vacation.

The biggest lie I tell myself is... " I don't have to write that down, I'll remember it".

I don't have gray hair... I have "wisdom highlights"! I'm just very wise.

If God wanted me to touch my toes, He would've put them on my knees.

Last year I joined a support group for procrastinators. We haven't met yet.

Why do I have to press one for English when you're just going to transfer me to someone I can't understand anyway?

Of course, I talk to myself. Sometimes I need expert advice.

At my age "Getting Lucky" means walking into a room and remembering what I came In there for.

I have more friends I should send this to, but right now I can't remember their names.

Now, I'm wondering... did I send this to you, or did you send it to me?

 

[Rocky]

 

[Greyfell]

Where can I get a horn that sounds like gunshots?

 

[CarlS]

Where can I get a horn that sounds like gunshots?

Electronic, programable horn with speaker.

 

[Philois]

Hi CarlS very funny post mate. Also thanks for posting a link to info on the flags. I had no idea what they represented so it was very informative. Sorry to see that you lost a family member, my condolences Carl.

 

[CarlS]

Hi CarlS very funny post mate. Also thanks for posting a link to info on the flags. I had no idea what they represented so it was very informative. Sorry to see that you lost a family member, my condolences Carl.

Thank you, Philois. Glad you enjoyed the post. And thank you for the condolences. It was my youngest son killed in a helicopter crash during a training mission for Bosnia. Thank you for caring.

 

[RockyDS]

Thank you, Philois. Glad you enjoyed the post. And thank you for the condolences. It was my youngest son killed in a helicopter crash during a training mission for Bosnia. Thank you for caring.

I also enjoyed the post. Some good ones for sure.

Very sad about your son. I'm also an old soldier, as is my youngest son. He suffers from ptsd and post traumatic concussion but thank God he's still with us. Best wishes to you.

 

[shanered6]

Brilliant !

 

[CarlS]

I also enjoyed the post. Some good ones for sure.

Very sad about your son. I'm also an old soldier, as is my youngest son. He suffers from ptsd and post traumatic concussion but thank God he's still with us. Best wishes to you.

Thanks, Rocky, and thank you for your service. I thank your son for his service and I am glad he made it back home. I hope he overcomes his his PTSD.

Brilliant !

Thank you, Shane. Glad you enjoyed it.

 

[speedrattle]

i think if id known how hard it was getting old i would have started earlier

 

[CarlS]

i think if id known how hard it was getting old i would have started earlier