I’ve done it tons of times on my ‘09 Bonnie, and haven’t had any issues with the connector. As I’m away from home and can’t look at my Bonnie, are you certain that’s the correct connector? The harness leaving the pump plate is retained by a clip located on the left underside of the tank.
The 4-wire connector in the center of your second photo (which I don’t think is the one you’re looking for) should come apart after pressing up on the square tab at the bottom. If it won’t come apart, try firmly pressing the two halves together, and then press the tab and pull; if you’ve not been releasing it, and trying to pull it apart, all that pulling may be preventing the tab from releasing, that’s the reason I’m suggesting you push them together before pressing the tab and pulling.
Good luck, and post your findings!
-Sparky